Im in Stitches

Literally, it did not go well, I went into hospital armed with all my hopes and wishes and plans and it all went to poop and now I sit here two weeks later floating in baby bliss of having my new born daughter, oh wait, no its the mist of pain killers and the itch of residual morphine and the burning sensation of my stomach where it was numbed and continually aches like I have sunburn and oh yes stitches that my wee bundle with her fathers long legs manages to kick every feed! ouch doesn’t cover it. As you can guess my relaxed water birth did not happen, I ended up having a urgent c section, its the one between elective and emergency. The one that you hadn’t planned on but you feel like cos they asked you for the safety of your child that you are making the choice ! 

They numb you from the shoulders down while stripping you if any dignity you had left, knee high compression socks , thigh high silver space boots, I saw them going on , not sure what for? a catheter  (nice) then the ER gown and the tent to stop you seeing what is actually going on , bit of tugging, pulling and pressure and presto you are shown your child’s arse ! She’s then whisked away and all you can hear is gurgling as they suction her, she passed to your partner, you can’t really see her as you are strapped to a table and once sewn up wheeled out where due to the drugs I personally was trying not to throw up on my daughter and desperately trying to get her skin to skin without any feeling in my arms . I won’t mention that there are ladies all through the night lifting me and changing my sheets and popping pads in my bum as I’m bleeding profusely and they forgot to mention I lost a litre of blood in the whole transaction. 

Looking back now I can laugh, carefully about the situation, with every check up they compliment my scar, never thought I would say those words and say the numbness/ sunburn will ease. In speaking to another mum she’s going on 7 months and it hasn’t so I can see why they are reluctant to offer a healing time ! So for now I will endeavour to enjoy the 6 weeks of legally being allowed to boss my household around and just hold my child. But I will offer these words there are reasons why they say ‘you’ll forget all about the birth ‘ its because you want to ! and reasons why other mums are a bit shy on sharing.